Wanky Mum Friends…

So let’s kick things of with me explaining myself. In no way do I want to categorise anybody or for the title of this post to be taken as derogatory. Wanky mum friends or WMF as I will use from now on in was thought of by me, on a whim, in a light-hearted friendly piss take; if such a thing exists?

During pregnancy I and the OH attended NCT antenatal classes. Overall a great success and very informative, I have no complaints, but this is when the WMF thought first popped into my head. In the company of other pregnant ladies in the class, I can’t describe it in any other way, but the OH just started acting really wanky. Maybe it was the elevated amount of oestrogen in the air but all the pregnant ladies were really gushy over their bumps, full of compliments to each other and generally talking for England. Heartburn, nipples, sex, nothing was off-limits. For just meeting they were sharing a lot of personal information that I’m sure the majority of the OH’s actual friends weren’t privy to. (Who am I kidding, ‘Girl’s nights’ are rawkus and I’ve witnessed the state how the OH has come home). Was this over sharing just to find common ground and secure lifelong play dates? I understand all ladies (and gents) had embarked on an incredible life changing event but to me it just seemed a little false. Would these ladies give each other the time of day if they weren’t pregnant?

With the above in mind and where the ‘wanky’ part comes in, all the ladies seem to be in competition with each other and silently judging. Discussions on pregnancy tips, nursery decorations and where they buy bras was all talked about in aim to trump the other. It’s like a prize was on offer and the winner would be dubbed Earth Mother.

Fearne Cotton recently said in an interview with AOL’s Build Series London that mum friends were her first port of call when questions arose about children. She mentioned that they have stopped her feeling isolated, provided great support and she’s in constant communication with them. Admit, Fearne is correct in everything she has said. Apart from their own mother, newly found mum friends are the best network for any concerns.

After Huxley was born, he was subjected to an onslaught of baby classes. I’m talking baby yoga, music with Mary and Gymboree – Poor Boy. Or poor daddy as my wallet cried. Fundamental to his development, I can’t grumble as this was also a good social relief for the OH with much-needed adult conversation, even if the topic was baby related but nonetheless a break from goo goo gaga. The OH would come home dropping all these mums names thinking I would remember them, and be able to recall their baby name in a flash. NO…this is where WMF was truly born.

WMF is my way of knowing which set of friends the OH is referring to. I’m sure a lot of the WMF’s are very nice but it doesn’t mean I want to hear their life story or see pictures of their baby. Relationships with friends take on considerable strain when you have a baby, no more last-minute planning for a dinner out or drinks down the pub. *Sad face*. Everything has to be planned months in advance and something that I really miss post baby.

To conclude, WMF is my slight dig at these new people my ears and brain have to digest information about when I secretly couldn’t give a shit. I do, just to appease the OH as it seems she has truly made some good friends. In an ideal world all my pals would just have a baby at the same time so we could share the experience together and stop me feeling FOMO when they are out gallivanting.

Am I being completely ridiculous? Or does the Wanky Mum Friends terminology ring true for you? Hit me back…


7 thoughts on “Wanky Mum Friends…

  1. Haha ! Omg this is so true quite a few of the wife’s mums friends I have no time for actually they really annoy me spot on mate Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this and this is reason alone why I never joined NCT or baby classes. I can’t be doing with hearing how Tobias adores guinea fowl and how Waitrose was Portia’s first word! Too many mums get too wrapped up in baby stuff and can’t converse about anything else! #thatfridaylinky

    Liked by 1 person

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